Which way do we go next?

I hope this blog reaches to anyone out there who is in a similar situation like myself. And if you are one of those people and can relate to this blog, high five! I found my people!

Okay, flashback to 2014, I start planning to come to New Zealand (NZ), start convincing my family, start sorting out finances to fund myself, started paperwork, you get an idea.

Now, did I know what I was doing? I thought I did. Was I sure of what I was signing up for? Well, I hoped so. Was I confident it was the right choice? Hell, absolutely not! I basically just went with it and took a leap of faith, for myself and for my heart. I did not know any girl in my family, extended family or even friends from my hometown (Udhampur) who had gone overseas by themselves! As per many Indians,

‘Ache ghar ki ladkiya, to raat to ghar se bahar bhi akele nahi jati’, and I decide to go to a different country by myself!

Translation: Girls from good families don’t even go out at night by themselves, and I decide to go to a different country by myself!

Most family and friends could not digest this and they warned my parents, ‘Are you sure you should be sending your daughter alone?’ they asked my Dad. My Dad was basically like, well it is what it is and if she wants to go, let her go and experience this. Thanks Mum and Dad!

Without them, my dreams would’ve remained dreams forever. What I am trying to say is many girls probably go overseas, but it is not common from where I am from and it was a BIG DEAL when I said I wanted to do it.

So I come to New Zealand after all and did my studying and all, and obviously, like any other migrant, the big questions, ‘Will I get a job after studying?’, ‘How do I extend my visa?’, ‘How does one get PR (Permanent Residence)?’, etc., occupied my brain in the early years in this foreign land. The best thing I did was, I chose a study course I was really interested in (Food Technology) and while studying that, I created great connections with fellow students and Lecturers.

After I finished studying, landed a fixed term ‘Research Technician’ job at University in the same field and eventually landed a permanent role as a Food Tech.! I did work my a** off for everything! Did two jobs at times, trust me, I questioned my decision of staying in NZ all the time!

Now, let’s be honest here. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING, me getting settled/staying long term in NZ, when I wasn’t in a relationship with anyone, ME ALONE!? Many people from overseas were struggling to find permanent job, because every company wanted Residents! They will not even interview people on Post-study Work Visa or Fixed Term visas. Indian passport doesn’t have the luxury of ‘Working Holiday Visa’ to give you a kick start, so you have to go the long and hard way of Studying-Working-Work Visa-Residency-Permanent Residence-Citizenship, if you want to stay overseas.

The only trouble in all this is now I have come to a point, I DO NOT KNOW anyone who has led a similar path, who I can use an example and an inspiration to figure out, what the hell am I supposed to do next?! Do I keep being a loner and stay in NZ? Do I move back or closer to family? Do I go somewhere else? Do I keep working hard? Do I slow down? Ahhhhh! So many things! *Deep Breathing*

I have come to a point in life where only money is not the motivation for me anymore, their has to be more to life than that!

Surely, I didn’t get this precious life so I can do a ‘9 to 5 job’ only.

Maybe the point is to find the balance between what do we need to do to sustain ourselves on this planet (how to pay bills, how to maintain relationships, etc.) and nurturing that inner child inside us, keeping the curiosity alive to explore different things and see life as a big adventure

Anyway, as you may have guessed by now, I don't know for certain my ultimate purpose yet, but the beauty of life is the journey and not the end destination, so I'm just sitting on the driver's seat and enjoying this ride. I’m a proud work in progess and focusing on one day at a time, with short and long term goals. Well, all of this aside, to be very honest, some days, I can’t even figure out what I want for dinner!

Enough about me, what is your greater purpose? Do you know where you are headed?