Do you manage youself?


17 Jan 2022

We all go through several situations on a day-to-day basis, where situations are such that, you just want to throw your hands in the air go, F*ck this sh*t! And storm off, not sure where, but storm off somewhere. If there is a door you can bang behind you, even better!

Why am I talking about this? Well, because, I had one of these moment this morning (at like 7:27am!) and thinking about how I handled myself made me go, ‘I actually did really well, maybe if I write and share this, my two readers can benefit from it ❤️’. Okay so here is what happened,

7:21 I am speaking to this person, let’s say person is called ‘X’

7:24 X starts being loud and gets rude very quickly when I try to put my point across

7:25 I feel like saying something back, but I hold back

7:26 X starts walking off after going at me for a few minutes

7:27 I tell myself, ‘do not say anything, just keep quiet!’

7:28 I start crying. I tell myself, F*ck this sh*t! Is this what I come to work for? OKAY OK! please do not react right now. Just don’t. Let this moment pass. Respond later, DO NOT react just now.
(a few minutes later)

7:33 I stopped crying and asked myself ‘Why tears?’

7:34 Still not sure how to feel. *Gets distracted at work*

(few hours later)

11:17 Why was I crying? Was it the words? Yes, the loud voice and the words were hurtful.

11:18 Wait, but I didn’t say anything mean or rude, so why would I cry? I’m not the one who lost their temper, I kept my calm.

12:30 But why tears? OH! I know why! EXPECTATIONS. Just because I thought ‘this person’ respects me enough to not treat me like that, I got hurt, when they did. That’s it!

12:33 Reminder to self,

Expectations equals hurt, so no matter how people treat me, I am not going to become them. I WILL REMAIN ME.

12:35 Hang on, why was X rude to me in the first place. Oh right, under the pump, too much stress from work. It has nothing to do with me personally.

Moral of the story, people are going to treat you how they feel about themselves and where their head’s at. Have you ever seen a happy person being mean to someone? I bet, not. In that moment, I got triggered and started crying, but reflecting on it now, I feel happy I didn’t do or say anything. Even though I’m significantly younger than X, I feel more mature and composed. I feel proud of that.

As I was writing this blog, I definitely wondered, if it is actually for my lovely readers or is it just for myself?! A reminder, that, however sh*tty people get around me, I control how I am and how I react to things.

Oh yeah and I did tell my HR about the event, and told her I will not tolerate this behaviour the second time.

Even though I am understanding and feel other’s pain, I’m never letting people just get away with bad behaviour.

I don’t know if this blog added value to your life or not, but I hope it gave you a perspective on how you can manage yourself in bad situations.

Let people be them and do not get to their level, because if you did, then what is the difference?
Until next time my lovely reader.